Today we were honored to have Tori, a Skyline HS senior (and former PLMS-er), talk to us about her middle school experiences with mean girls and low self-esteem, ultimately leading to an eating disorder. She was very courageous to share her struggles with the Sisters and we had some great discussions in both lunches. Many of us can relate to what Tori went through in middle school. Girls whom she thought were her friends said mean things about her and it was very hurtful. She wore a mask every day that showed that nothing was wrong, but inside she was hurting. Everyday she pretended to be happy, but she wasn't. And since she couldn't control what the girls said, she focused on what she could control: what she put in her mouth. Her anorexia started in 7th grade and she has been in treatment for the last 5 years. It hasn't been easy to get to where she is now, but she has a wisdom about her that you don't usually find in an 18 year old girl.
Tori was kind enough to share a few of the things she learned with us:
* She learned how to pick the right friends, true friends who support you instead of tearing you down.
* She learned that wearing a mask is a lot of work and it gets very tiring hiding who you really are.
* She learned not to listen to what "they" say about her.
* When her mom made her get treatment for her eating disorder, she was MAD. Now looking back, she wishes she would have been made to get help sooner.
* She thought her mom wouldn't understand what she was going through...but she did.
* She learned that it's important to talk about things that bother you, not just keep them inside and act like nothing's wrong.
What did you learn from Tori?
And why do girls have such fragile self-esteem?
Please post a comment. And Tori, from all your Pine Lake Sisters...Thank You!
2 comments:
I think that everyone has fragile self-esteem, to some extent. Especially preteens/teenagers, girls, and teenage/preteen girls:D. Part of this may be the media's fault, but we should all be careful to not bash the media and not take responsiblity for our failures as mothers/friends/teachers/daughters.
I don't know why girls have such low self esteem. Maybe it's hormonal. Maybe it's society's teen-phobia and all the negative expectations. Maybe it's busy parents or bad luck with friends. But I DO know that we can make it better, if we put aside our fears of "what will people think of me?" and stand up for what we believe in.
it is scientifically proven that females are more emotionally developed than males which makes us think way too much into things--like when a girl says "i love that shirt" then we think maybe she is joking maybe she's lyin bla bla bla. When dudes have a beef they fight it out and they are friends again and that's how it was even in the cavemen days concerning men-- they would fight the other tribes if they said anything and we would stay with the young and hope they didn't die it's all genetics. but we should lay off the soapopera lifeastyle our lives don't all have to be dramas!!!!
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