Today we started by discussing some of the comments left on last week's post on being judged. Several girls who left comments noted that people get judged based on stereotypes about their race, gender, etc. During our discussion, girls talked about the ways they've been stereotyped, and even how they've stereotyped others. Here were some of the ways:
*sports--hating a rival, but not really knowing her as a person
*being short
*being tall
*being "popular"
*being a "geek"
A teacher in A Lunch noted that sometimes stereotypes work for us. For instance, a mom with her kids at the airport probably won't be suspected as a terrorist. And face it, we all use steretypes at times. It's a way of catagorizing all the information that is coming at you. What's important to remember, though, is that no one likes to be judged solely on her physical characteristics, so it's important to be open about getting to know someone for who they are, not just judging them on how they look. Soooo, how do you do that? How do you bridge that gap and break the ice? Especially if you feel like someone already has enough friends and doesn't seem to be open to new ones. The Sisters in both lunches came up with these ideas:
*Just take action, approach people you want to know and ask them about themselves
*Look for common ground, something you both can relate to
*Smile
*Just say hi. That person may be feeling as insecure as you are. A small gesture like a smile or a hello can go a long way.
And realize that you're not alone in feeling this way. It's hard to put yourself out there...what if people don't like who you are? That is scary. A Sister from B Lunch said the following:
"You have to take the risk to be yourself. You have to accept your flaws...one flaw at a time, and you have to accept that you're not perfect. I don't have to be everyone's best friend and do everything. I can be myself and be a likeable person, and that's enough."
Another B Lunch Sister said,
"People like me better when I act like myself."
And yet another said,
"I think that being different should be a good thing. If we were all the same, the world would be boring."
A wise 6th grade A Lunch Sister summed it up well by saying,
"There is no such thing as a perfect person. Everyone has a flaw. It makes you different--you should celebrate it!"
30 comments:
Being cool to me means being different. Most people think being cool means being the same, normal, but that is boring. Being normal is like being a fruitcake, you can't eat it, just like it would be boring to talk it a normal person.
I think people stereotype about more than just physical things, or where you live, or something outside you, out of your control. Sometimes they judge you by things in your control, like personality traits. Maybe if you don't like breaking rules they assume your no fun to be with, or becuase your smart you bossy, ect.
Also, thank you for all the 8th graders to come this week. It was really cool. I hope you come next week! Thanks!
I think if we are to judged it should be by what we do. NOT like Simon but that judges actually say I like that.
I think that stereotypes are really popular in middle school but, we all have to learn to deal with it because not everyone knows that they are being offensive by labeling people. For them its just a joke but, for the people around them it could be offensive. I think that stereotypes come from the media. My only question is why does the media set stereotypes anyway?
I know some people laugh at me and I know it's directly at me. Then I feel sad I always wonder why they laugh at me? Is there something wrong with me or do they do it to make me feel bad so I would cry?
Yes, I hate it when people say, "Your gay." It's just terrible.
I think that when people stereotype different groups of people, they are insecure about themselves. Why would someone want to judge people based on their looks, or the people they hang out with? The definition of insecure is not confident or uncertain. This means that individuals who stereotype other people without getting to know them are not certain about themselves. There should not be stereotypes in Middle School. The popular kids, the geeks, and all the other groups in between are just groups of kids that hang out with each other and share similar likes/dislikes. Popular kids are not mean, and geeks are not all book worms.
I agree with anon one. You can't eat fruitcakes OR talk to "normal" people. I think being cool means being perfect? And perfect fruitcakes are even worse.
I go to this website were people talk. It is world wide, but most people are from the U.S. or England. When the Brittish people talk about the U.S., it is really different than what the U.S really is. They think we don't have good food, weird education, ect. Then, I thought about what we think a Brittish person is. Well, not all Brittish people talk in funny accents and drink tea all the time. We are a lot alike.
To the girl who said that people laugh at you, I am so sorry that is happening. I hope you will come into the Counseling Center and talk to Ms.Ramacciotti or me about it. That is so mean, and you don't have to put up with it.
--Ms. Elliot
I agree--What we think of the British and what they think of us is a lot alike.
The group of people I feel worst for are the ones who ARE gay.
sometimes people are so mean they say things to make you feel bad. I am so short it makes me feel bad but sometimes I think to be short is the best thing to be because I can do more activites. some people judge me by my looks and, height, weight , favs and even more!!!! I hate stereotypes, especially at people who dress poorly.
I came for the first time last week. It was hard to "break out" and share all my feelings and stuff with people I've never met. But a lot of problems I have been having, others have too.
When people think of stereotypes, they usually think of the underdog. Or the person who is made fun of. I'm kinda the other way around. People see me as perfect...which puts on so much stress. I've gone through a lot just to make people think I was perfect. But, in the words of Hannah Montana: Nobody's Perfect!
I just wanted to say thanks to all the people at the B lunch sisterhood...I had a lot of fun and you guys made me feel very comfortable. It feels awesome to get some of this stuff off my chest. Can't wait till next Thursday!
I hope mean people would stop and think about quiet people and try to become friends. Like Hannah Montanna said or in the shows she trys to become friends with people that are alone like the cracker she found out some stereo types are good her friends told her what other people told them about her. She finds out the hard way. I hope other people in some ways follow her example!
I hope everyone could get to know each other and become friends and if not work it out!! I wish this would happen!!!!
I think some of the types of stereo types are positive and some are horrible!!!
I wish there was no such thing as bad stereotype. I wish everyone would meet each other and get to know different people. So everyone would be friends! Or just leave each other alone. I would personally like that. Then there would be no mean popular people. And there would be no lower class social people. It would be much funner for nerds and the popular kids would be normal kids everyone would be equal. That would be awesome. So do you see my point?anyway that is a way that everyone would be equal as I said before.
What is normal?
normal is being a person that trys to be friendly to other people. which means to not say rude things. such as saying whatever when someone is conserned.see what I mean. Thats my point.!!!
Hmm.. normal. I think it is like a CosmoGirl cover model. Kind of like the average of everything. Brown hair, right handed, green eyes, well dressed, cool razer phone, pretty,tall. If people were to be themselves, they wouldn't be normal, they would be unique. The problem is so many people try to be normal.
normal is when you are nice and you don't say rude things to people! So do you see my point? by the way I wrote the one when normal is used. when you asked what is normal.
whats all the hubba bubba? how did you guys come up with all this good advice? Miss.Elliot maybe could we start a advise calume? by the way I spelled the word calume wrong!
Normal is what you get when you take away personality.
I missed last week and am just now reading last week's comments. Every one of your thoughts made me think about the ways I am treated and the ways I treat people in a new way. Thank you for sharing, for risking, for being yourselves!
I don't think people should be judged on how they look, or what kind of things they do. To me, I believe people should be judged on how they act, because some people, just don't act the way they really are. The media probably is an influence on stereotypes, like Hannah Montana.
I remember 6th grade. For me, it was 'fitting in'. When I realized, this isn't who I really am, I began to act, 'me'. Who I really was. People who act like who they aren't, are just wearing a skin, hidding. No one knows who they really are.
Well, if I remember what room it is in, tommorrow, I'll definetly come. Talking like this makes me feel like I can express who I am, without holding back.
people call me hot its k with me. oh ps im a guy.
I don't exactly know who i am so it is really hard to be myself when i can't exactly! what can i do to find out who i am? it is really hard to deal with everyone saying 'act like yourself!' when you don't know who that is!
also, talking about stereotypes can be hurtfull when you ARE one of those 'popular' people. people always stereotype them too. they might seem cool but they really just want to fit in too. i know alot of popular people and alot of them have even said that they feel pressure ALL THE TIME.
Well I have been stereotyped so many times it's hard to tell what people are going to call you next. This week i was thirsty and saw a line for the water fountain so i got in line. This dude just jumps right in front of me.
on instinct i grab his back pack and yank it back. His comment was "whoa don't me up you black @$#$$%!" I was sooo mad i was about to punch his lights out. Instead I took a deep breath and said "One, don't ever call me that again, and two, I'm not black. I'm mix." From then on whenever he sees me he shouts "look out its the tall, MIX,
gangster." I've tried to tell him to stop. Then one day at I punch him. I get in trouble and get slapped with detention. My parents where understanding though. As long as I didn't start it, I'll end it.
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