The writer Erica Jong once said, "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Today at Sisterhood we talked about advice and shared our opinions about it. Sometimes we seek advice to confirm what we already knew, like the quote. Sometimes we truly are seeking wisdom or insight or just plain help. Also, advice can connect people, like if you cook with your mom, she has so many new things to teach you and a lot of cooking advice to share. We talked about our parents, especially our moms dispensing lots of advice, both helpful and "helpful." Here are some of the things drilled into the Sisters heads:
* don't smoke or do drugs...ever!
* don't get married until you're financially secure and out of college
* think before you speak--use your head, it's your own personal chat room
* follow your dreams
* get a good job when you grow up
* support yourself
* don't let a guy ruin your life
* try to be yourself
* keep your head high
What else? Leave a comment!
Sometimes, though, unsolicited advice sounds like a broken record and annoys us to the point of not listening, especially from our moms. Now, the Sisters know that moms do it because they love and care so much, but it drives us crazy all the same. Just like the moms in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 drive their girls crazy, our moms drive us crazy. But as one wise Sister in A Lunch noted, we might be annoyed now but as we get older we realize that we didn't know everything and our moms were actually right. Ms. Pitasky added that, "The older you get, the smarter your parents become." Still, here are some annoying mom behaviors:
* teaching me how to flirt but also always saying how boys are bad
* putting pressure on me about grades, colleges, jobs but not really telling me how to achieve these things on a practical level
* always rolling down her window to talk to everyone when she's picking me up
* talking forever to people
* trying to hang out with my friends and me when they come over
* not trusting me even though I'm trustworthy
* using my 'pet' name in front of my friends
* butting into my life all the time
Feel free to comment if you think of anything else! Also, remember you can ask the Sisters for advice anytime. Just post a 'Help a Sister Out' comment with your issue and I will put it on the blog as a separate post. Then Sisters can leave a comment with their advice. We're all here to support each other, so if you need some help, just ask...that's what SISTERS are for.
3 comments:
To the girl in Blunch who felt her mom didn't trust her; don't know your name, sorry, and i'd rather You didn't know mine:
It isn't that she doesn't trust You, it's that she can't let go...accepting how much she trusts You would mean accepting how much You have become and letting You go: perhaps she just can't live without You as her little girl. Maybe she just doesn't trust herself.
The best way to deal with a disagreement, especially between family, is to empathize, but don't pity: pity is a weak, useless negative emotion, like lust, that mocks a stronger, positive one. Also, help your mom have empathy; help her remember herself at Your age. Learning about this will help You understand her better too...
wow... thank you so much for that comment. :) that was very very helpful. i will deffinately try that. thank you so much. :D
Its hard to give advice if you have to say something that the person doesn't want to hear. Sometimes they are expecting to be assured that they are doing the right thing, so they are looking for a right answer.
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