Wow, we had some excellent, insightful discussions today in both lunches. Last week's discussion on being interesting brought up the connection between being interesting and being popular. If you're interesting, are you popular? And vice versa? Loyal blog reader, what do you think?
We also discussed the definition of popularity. Popularity can have two definitions:
1. The positive definition--when a person is genuinely kind to everyone, has varied interests, is confident and interesting, and has friends from all different groups.
2. The negative definition--when a person has high social status based on clothes, looks, and/or abilities and uses that power to control or influence others.
The Sisterhood homed in on POWER being the main difference. And that people fear the girl who uses her popularity in a negative way because she may turn on you and then no one would like you anymore.
One teacher commented that her mom teaches pre-school and has seen this excluding behavior in girls as young as 4!!! Where do girls learn this type of behavior? The Sisters commented that it comes from the media, society's expectations, and from watching older girls. Another teacher said that she believes it's about the need to feel loved and accepted and if girls are insecure about that (and who isn't sometimes?) then one way to protect themselves is to use their power to control others. What do you think?
This led to our discussion about the unwritten rules of popularity. I read a paragraph written by a 'popular' girl at our school. Here's an excerpt:
"Yes, the unwritten rules. They are a terrible thing. They cause people to go into cliques, for people to be rumored about....I personally hate these rules. I listen to these rules. I am afraid of these rules and all the people who have been taken over by the rules are no longer the same. So when you are alone, don't worry. There are others in the same boat, battling the same tsunamis and tidal waves. You may not see them, hear them or even meet them in your life but they are there, wishing for some comfort, some reassurance. So do me a favor, if someone tries to put a costume over your head, take it right off and throw it back. You know who you are and who you want to be. SO DON'T LET ANYONE DISGUISE THAT. NO ONE!!!! YOU ARE WHO YOU WANT TO BE AND NOTHING ELSE!!!!!"
Amen, Sister!
9 comments:
Am I the first one to coment this week? Yay! And thanks for saying the comment I posted last week was strong. As for popularity, I think that maybe sometimes parents (not mine) maybe set a bad example. Not saying that all parents do, but some parents might?
popularity hurts. it hurts everyone. those who aren't popular are considered uncool (i should know, i am a registered "band geek") and those who are popular have their secrets floating around for everyone to see. i probably know more about some populars than they know about themselves.
Popularity is not a good thing some of the time. Some popular people are mean and some of the time their family can be broken up or they can have mean older siblings.
I think that sometimes someone that is popular has had a bad life or they just feel really down so they decide to take it out on others. Like wheneveer they get more power they get happier but only fora short while. Later they just need more.
Yes, I agree with the 1st anonyous. We talked about that in 2nd lunch. I said that my aunt is rich and buys a LOT of clothes for my cousin. She wears uniforms so she can only wear that on the weekends. She has 3 times as much clothes as I do. My cousin doesn't care about that stuff, she is just being pressured. :(
Yes, I agree with the 4th anonymous. My friend described it as "fake happiness." That is so true.
I know and have seen the two kinds of "popular" described...but I think there is a third kind of popularity, too. It's when you're well-known, at least within a group of people...as someone to be teased, or as a fake friend when the (bad) populars feel like showing off. It can happen suddenly; one day, everyone on your bus seems to know your name and the "populars" are trying to talk to you. The only choices you have are to ignore them (which doesn't always work), ask them to stop (if you're lucky enough to have the nerve), or to let them mess with you. It's happened to me and I hate it. I don't want to listen to their dumb talk, I just want to be left alone. Has anyone else had something like this happen?
I know what you mean, I have had things like that happen.
I don't know if I'd call it a kind of popularity, though. A lot of times it's just a temporary thing.
I guess I mean popularity less in the sense of power, and more of just being well-known. Even if it is a temporary thing, people can remember you and do it again if you don't stand up for yourself (I know I usually don't--I just can't find the words.)
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