We had some great discussions at both Sisterhood lunches today. It all started by a Sister saying how tired she was of defending her German heritage to ignorant people who only associate Germans with Nazis or good chocolate (the latter didn't bother her too much). Over both lunches the Sisters shared their own experiences with dealing with ignorant hurtful comments. Sometimes, people don't mean to be offensive, they just don't know any better. Sometimes they do. How do you deal with ignorant, hurtful, comments--whether racist, sexist, homophobic or??? The Sisters shared ideas about this, like:
*Tell them how you feel!
*Ask them if they know what they said was offensive.
*Tell them they should learn more about _____ before they talk about it.
*Ask them if they are trying to make you feel bad.
*Tell them, "Hmmm, I had always pegged you as someone who was open-minded and accepting. Thanks for letting me know how you really are."
The bottom line is to speak up if you are offended or if you witness someone else being mistreated. You may not change the person's point of view, but you'll feel better knowing your silence won't be interpreted as agreement.
We also discussed whether it's ok to make fun of something or use certain words if you belong to the group you're describing. For instance, a blond telling blond jokes. Or African-American rappers using the N word. Is this ok with you? Is it hypocritical? Leave a comment and speak your mind, Sister!
3 comments:
"We also discussed whether it's ok to make fun of something or use certain words if you belong to the group you're describing. For instance, a blond telling blond jokes. Or African-American rappers using the N word. Is this ok with you? Is it hypocritical?"
I think one important point that wasn't mentioned (at least, not during my lunch) was the situation. Going out and telling other people it's okay to use words or say things about groups just because you're part of them isn't right because they could offend somebody else...but if you're just making jokes about, say, your culture within your family in a private setting and everybody sees it as just teasing...it think saying we're all hypocrites for that is going a bit too far.
How do we know that we aren't the ignorant ones....?
This discussion got me on a train of thought that You guys may find interesting...
How do we know that there is such a thing as good and evil/right and wrong anyway? I mean, we're supposed to be open minded and accept all value systems as equal. But, some value systems in the past have included things like slavery, and people have fought and died for them. But, we don't accept that as right...but then, aren't we being self-rightous and stuck-up? If we shouldn't judge and we should be open minded, then where do we draw the line? Eventually right and wrong cease to exist. On the other hand, if we assume that we are eternally right and don't pay attention to other viewpoints, then we could find ourselves condoning something like racism or slavery or such....
So does right/wrong really exist? I mean, how do You define a good person? Trying to do the right thing? The road to hell is paved with good intentions, is i think the saying...not that i'm gonna go around punching people to be open-minded or anything, but it's a thought.
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