Before we get into the meat of this blog entry, just a reminder to bring in your old jeans to the Counseling Center. We will cut them into 6x6 squares for the Sisterhood quilt.
One courageous Sister decided to share her middle school struggles with the group. It was very moving and important for everyone to hear her message, because we've all been there in one way or another. To paraphrase what she said:
***** I've had a lot of struggles during middle school. I've had body image problems and was even anorexic for a while. I have hung out with people who were not my true friends, I used to work so hard to be perfect. I was stressed all of the time. I developed social anxiety and couldn't leave my house without crying, shaking, etc. I didn't think I was good enough. I started not being myself. I was really mean to people. I hated myself and hated my life. I felt suicidal. I started cutting a little bit. I found God and that helped me. I have found out who I am. I have found true friends. I want you to know what I've gone through and know that everyone is beautiful. Everyone has something to offer. Don't fall into the trap of being someone else to please others...it's a downward spiral. There are genuine people out there who will like you for who you are. Now I have those kinds of friends. I'm not always perfect, but I'm trying.*****
I pointed out that nobody is ever perfect and that what maybe she meant was that she is trying to just be real and honest; she's working hard to just be herself. A teacher Sister pointed out that in Greek, perfect means 'in process.' I like that. Aren't we all in process?
Other Sisters then shared their own struggles:
*In 6th grade, I started wearing Abercrombie and American Eagle and makeup. Then I came to the Sisterhood and starting changing and being more me.
*A teacher Sister shared that even as an adult woman, she still feels like there is pressure to be a certain way.
*Last year I had weird friends who would criticize me and wanted me to be someone else.
*I get a lot of pressure from my grandpa for being good at track, piano and getting good grades. I'm still learning how to cope with it.
*I feel a lot of pressure from my family, but I can do my best and I don't need people telling me what I can't do.
*I changed a lot last year. It's hard living up here sometimes because so many people are wealthy. Now I am able to be who I really am and some people call me fake. (Those people don't KNOW her, I say!)
The first Sister who shared so much also said that she made a sign and put it in a plastic binder sleeve, then wrote on the plastic with a Vis-a-Vis pen. Here's what she did:
I am stronger than_______________________________________
I love myself because____________________________________
Please leave a comment and fill in those blanks, or be thinking about it. We will talk more about this next week.
Thank you for being so GENUINE and COURAGEOUS today, Sisters!
12 comments:
The first sister's words today really touched my heart. i thought that highschoolers may have gone through that. but she's so young. that was one heartbreaking story!
If you think about it, there is no pressure. I kind of found the "no pressure zone." I just listen to my real friends and my sisters. They let me be myself. The only pressure I get is to be nicer, or to try my best, or other good forms of pressure. I sometimes get that "I'm to good enough" feeling when I read my friend's Seventeen magazine.
I love myself because I know the magic and love that music can bring.
I'm stronger than:
2 feet of solid ice
a coral reef
4 shots of espresso
I love myself because I'm a good friend to others.
I just want each of you to know how much I appreciate your honest sharing. Taking off our masks and telling our truths--the hard ones and the successes help us to live much more fully.
We are so lucky to have this place to be together in our learning!
We are stronger together than we are alone.
I am wowed every week. Thanks to all of you whose presence makes us a sisterhood!
I can sort of relate to Anon. 2; In 6th grade, in the spring, I was starting to get really stressed out. I just felt surrounded by homework, mean teachers, and 'friends' I wasn't sure if I could really be myself around. Then, sometime, it just stopped. I'm not quite sure how (I have a feeling listening to music might have helped a lot), but now, even when things are getting rough again, I always manage to find enough bright things in nearly every day to make it through.
I love myself because I exist, and someday will have an impact on someone or something in the world. I don't know how right now, but I think I will.
It's really sad how girls have to go through that. It's also sad that the harder you try to be yourself, the less you will get accepted. :( That's why we all need sisters.
It's really sad that peer pressure lead this girl to almost kill herself, at a young age. It is hard to believe that the trap can lead to death. And even harder to believe that the trap happened in our school.
Wow! I can really relate to the person who said that about herself! In fifth grade I was a lot like that, though I didn't start cutting myself. I DID, however scratch myself. Just advice to people going through it--say NO! Stand up for yourself AND TO YOUSELF. Inside you're all great, and outside you can be too.
Anon 8:
Okay, some advice for people going through a hard time: Don't push people away, especially parents. They can be annoying and nagging, but they really DO love you and wants what's best for you; they'll do their best to help you. Friends too, they love you, although sometimes they might make wrong decisions. DON'T PUSH PEOPLE AWAY, and BE STRONG, SISTERS!!!
Hugs all around!
This is for the people who feel pressured:
Do you think you felt pressured to pressure other people, too? Do you regret hanging out with the wrong group of friends? I have felt that way before, and I wish I could go back in time and change it.
beeing part of the sisterhood has been really important to me. all the girls remind me who i really am and every thursday i look foreward to sisterhood no matter what my other friends think about it.
I have to say, without pressure from my teachers, friends, coaches, and family member, I would not always do my best. So sometimes, pressure can be helpful.
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